Murphy's Law of Dogs (a little gross)

My dogs can be quite dependable:

1. While picking up dog poop in the backyard, they both will give you a fresh specimen, always in the area you've already picked up (bonus points for them doing this simultaneously)


2. While running on the beach, Puck will always need to go poop at the exact moment the lifeguard drives by (bonus points for when Christy forgets to grab a doggie bag)


3. When hiking and needing to pull off the trail so someone can pass, they will always sprawl out in the middle of the trail, with no possiblity of moving (bonus points for that passer being a mountain biker)


4. When crawling on the bed to snuggle in the middle of the night (off-limits, by the way), Puck will always lay right on top of your legs (all 95 lbs of him). Nugget will always jump on your (likely full) bladder.


5. When, in the off-chance, Puck decides to lay next to you, he will sneeze in your face while you are sleeping.


6. When someone who hates dogs comes over, they will both jump all over them.


7. If they are allowed to go in the front yard, they will run into the neighbor's backyard and start pooping (bonus points for the never having met the new neighbor. Double bonus points for it being 7 am on a Saturday).


8. If you leave a Victoria Secret's catalog in the recycling, they will tear it up into tiny pieces all over the garage so all you see are boobs and panties everywhere.


9. When playing fetch with Puck, Nugget will always get jealous and start humping Puck (bonus points for when Puck lets Nugget do it and starts yawning in the middle of it)


10. If you fall asleep on the couch, they will come stick their cold noses on your face and lick you from chin to forehead (bonus points for it being a guest and their armpit, not their face)


11. They will try to crawl through the five foot high bathroom window when the neighbors start setting off fireworks. If that doesn't work, they will bust through the fence.

And some of the sweeter times they are dependable, making #1-11 above all worth it:

1. When you are crying, they will both stick there heads in your lap and give you those big puppy eyes


2. They will follow you from room to room, because they love being around you so much, even if you're only in the room for 30 seconds


3. They will be great with kids. To the point that the toddler down the street yells "where's Nuggie?!" every time I see her and even refers to my car as "Nuggie's car"


4. They will both come up to you, ears back and butt wiggling, asking forgiveness right after you've reprimanded them.


5. They will never, never, never, growl at or bite anyone.


6. They will be extra protective of you when you're home alone.


7. They will scare away the racoon that keeps breaking into your garage.


8. They will spoon with you and keep you warm while camping.


9. They will force you to get off the couch and be active


10. They will always be ready and willing to go anywhere, anytime.