We've always struggled with Lena's sleep. She's definitely not the worst sleeper, but she's never been a great sleeper. As a newborn, she wanted to be held to fall asleep. The introduction of the Fisher Price Rock 'n Play helped us greatly, as it made her feel secure. But she outgrew it (in length) and we've sputtered along, trying to figure out what would work for her. First, she'd only sleep in her crib or a Pack 'n Play if her head was elevated (and only for an hour or two, at that). When I went back to work, we threw in the towel and officially started cosleeping. You've heard it before and you'll hear it again: whatever works! We all need our sleep. Despite still being a little freaked out about safety/SIDS (it's in my nature), I actually love cosleeping - I love cuddling with her! But one of the downsides is I think she wakes more frequently to nurse because she senses me there. So, it's our ultimate goal to get her in her crib, for good.
Now, at 7.5 months, we've established a routine. Around 7 pm, we give her a bath, put her in her pajamas, and read a couple books. If she's not showing signs of sleepiness, we let her play until she does. Once she shows signs of sleepiness (for her, it's rubbing her eyes), I'll nurse her to sleep and put her in her crib once she's out cold (flat, no longer needing her head to be elevated!). This is usually around 8:30-9:00. She'll usually sleep there for 2-3 hours and then wake up right around my bed time. So, I bring her into the spare bed (now equipped with bed rails that I scored at a garage sale for $10) and we sleep there all night. She (and thus we) wake(s) every 2-3 hours to feed. I wake up feeling like I slept but not well.
I've been reluctant to adopt any sort of firm sleep method. I've been operating under the assumption that, ultimately, she will sleep well, but her nervous system and physiology just need to work themselves out to get her there. Despite the studies, I absolutely cannot do any form of Cry It Out (I turn into a frenzied wreck when she cries for longer than 90 seconds). The No Cry Sleep Solution helped me identify signs of sleepiness and ways to comfort her (rubbing her back), but I, frankly, don't have the time to keep a sleep log. I'm happy with showering daily, making dinner 5 nights a week, and getting the dogs walked in there while working full time. I can't be bothered with trying to keep a sleep journal for her. So, I just decided to do what I can to encourage a good sleep environment and have her work out the rest.
So when we went camping this weekend, I was a little nervous to step away from our routine. Because, after all, the books tell you routine is key! Get your baby out of her routine and you start all over! But, there were no baths (or bedtime books, we forgot those) at the campground. Contrary to my fears, it actually helped me gain perspective on her sleep. Outside, away from artificial lights and blinds, I realized her Circadian rhythm is firmly established. She still went down right around 8:30-9:00 (never the 7 pm all the books tell you!). But being outside, I realized that's a perfectly natural time to go to bed; the world around her tells her "it's dark, now it's bedtime." And even though we were cosleeping and it was freaking cold at night (around 35 degrees F! But I think she was nice and warm nestled next to me in the sleeping bag), she only awoke 2-3 times per night. And as soon as that morning light broke at dawn, her little eyes would pop open and she's smile up at me (my eyes pop open at dawn, too. Gee, I wonder where she gets her sleep pattern?). Incidentally, after 30 minutes of playing inside the car (where we slept) each morning, she was ready to go back to sleep for another hour (she gets this from her dad - he loves to get up, eat a bowl of cereal, and go back to bed).
Last night, we went through the routine and she fell asleep around 9 pm. I put her in her crib and went and slept in my own bed until 3 am! Then, we slept together in the spare bed. She woke up twice between 3 am and 5:45 am, when I got up. Then, I put her in her crib, where she slept until 6:30 and I got ready for work. I've been so anxious for her to "sleep through the night." But when I step back from the situation, I realize she's actually sleeping pretty well. A six hour stretch and then two awakenings for a total of 10 hours in bed is sleeping well. It's not textbook well - she's not going down at 7 pm and sleeping until 7 am straight- but it's well. And I'm starting to think those textbook babies are few and far between.
P.S. In the last few weeks, she's also begun unlatching, putting her head down, and falling asleep on her own (i.e. without a nipple in her mouth) - both at bedtime and after middle of the night nursing sessions. This is huge to me! We got in the habit early on of her nursing to sleep. Again, all the textbooks say don't do it. I felt a little guilty (again!), but I just trusted that one day she would wean herself from nursing, and that would include not needing to nurse to fall asleep. She's definitely not weaned from nursing, but she's treating it as more of a food source and less as a sleep aid.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
I Dare You to Watch this Video and Not Tear Up
This post isn't actually about Lena.
Well, not directly, at least. But when you become a parent, everything tends to circle back to your kid(s).
So I can't help but think about my sweet little baby when I watch this family. About how I never want her to go through what this man went through (everyone keeps referring to him as a kid, which I get because he just turned 18. But let's all agree, he's so much older than his 18 years). How I don't want Mike and I to ever go through what his parents have. How I love his relationship with his siblings (especially his sister Grace).
As you may suspect, I identify with this story on another level. Of course a story about someone dying from cancer makes me think of my dad. There's a part in the video where Zach's girlfriend says that what she fears most is leaving the hospital after he dies; leaving knowing that he's not coming with her. I'll never forget the walk down the hall of the hospital back to the car after my dad died. It was so surreal and felt so uncomfortably final.
Zach's attitude and bravery remind me so much of my dad. Although he didn't want to die, my dad wasn't scared of death. I think he would have identified with two of Zach's quotes:
Well, not directly, at least. But when you become a parent, everything tends to circle back to your kid(s).
So I can't help but think about my sweet little baby when I watch this family. About how I never want her to go through what this man went through (everyone keeps referring to him as a kid, which I get because he just turned 18. But let's all agree, he's so much older than his 18 years). How I don't want Mike and I to ever go through what his parents have. How I love his relationship with his siblings (especially his sister Grace).
As you may suspect, I identify with this story on another level. Of course a story about someone dying from cancer makes me think of my dad. There's a part in the video where Zach's girlfriend says that what she fears most is leaving the hospital after he dies; leaving knowing that he's not coming with her. I'll never forget the walk down the hall of the hospital back to the car after my dad died. It was so surreal and felt so uncomfortably final.
Zach's attitude and bravery remind me so much of my dad. Although he didn't want to die, my dad wasn't scared of death. I think he would have identified with two of Zach's quotes:
"Death is just another thing on the agenda, kind of. Yeah, it’s scary. But the reason it’s scary is because you don’t
know what’s next, or if there is a next.
So, it’s kinda like sitting in the dark.
And so you can either chose to be freaking out in the dark, and thinking
“okay, what’s out there,” or you could just relax and fall asleep, and just be
happy and content with everything.” - Zach Sobiech
“I want to be remembered as a kid who went
down fighting…and didn’t really lose.” - Zach Sobiech
Honestly, God forbidden I'm ever in the same situation, I don't know if I can be that strong. But I'd sure try.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Lens at 7 Months
Lena,
You are 7 months old! Honestly, it sounds just about right. When I look back at all the changes you've gone through since your birth, it seems appropriate that it's taken the better part of a year to get here! Your seventh month was by far the most momentous! At 7 months, you:
- Are crawling! Everywhere! It started as just an army crawl right around six months. After army crawling for a week, you found your way onto all fours. Sometimes you move your legs and arms in sync and sometimes you still just move your arms. Lucky for you, we have hardwood floors that facilitate this slide. Regardless of the method, you always pant loudly when you do it. It's adorable. We immediately had to go out and baby's proof the house. Nothing is safe from you - cats, dogs, laundry baskets...)
-Almost immediately after starting your army crawl, you learned to sit up. You spent an entire Sunday working in it and perfected it by Monday. You learned by rolling on your side and pushing up with the arm nearest the ground. It was a bit wobbly at first, but once you figured it out, you were solid.
-Have two teeth! These three milestones - first teeth, crawling, and sitting up - happened all in the same week. I heard a choir of angels sing when they poked through. It took months for those suckers to break through. Luckily we've only had one biting while nursing incident...so far.
- You weren't content to sit and crawl, and moved straight to standing up. When you started standing a week after you began crawling, I knew we were in trouble. It has been simultaneously fun and terrifying to watch your standing evolve. You now pull yourself up with an aid with no trouble and are experimenting with standing without help. You'll either pull yourself up to standing with the help of an object (or mom or dad) and then let go or you get in a crouch and stand from there. I suspect the transition from standing to walking will happen as quickly as the transition from crawling to standing did. No one would be surprised if you walked by 8 months.
-Are nonstop moving. You don't even take a break to nap! Watching you requires constant vigilance. You wiggle when you're held and it's not on your terms. Restaurants are really difficult these days. You don't like being confined and the only time you'll allow it is in your carseat in the car or in a high chair to eat. Your bouncy chair has been banished to the garage and your exersaucer is only used from the outside, as an aid to stand.
- Are starting to show the beginning stages of separation anxiety. It's worst in the evenings - which, let's be honest, has never been a good time for you. If your dad or I leave the room, you start crying. You're also too smart to be distracted.
You are 7 months old! Honestly, it sounds just about right. When I look back at all the changes you've gone through since your birth, it seems appropriate that it's taken the better part of a year to get here! Your seventh month was by far the most momentous! At 7 months, you:
- Are crawling! Everywhere! It started as just an army crawl right around six months. After army crawling for a week, you found your way onto all fours. Sometimes you move your legs and arms in sync and sometimes you still just move your arms. Lucky for you, we have hardwood floors that facilitate this slide. Regardless of the method, you always pant loudly when you do it. It's adorable. We immediately had to go out and baby's proof the house. Nothing is safe from you - cats, dogs, laundry baskets...)
-Almost immediately after starting your army crawl, you learned to sit up. You spent an entire Sunday working in it and perfected it by Monday. You learned by rolling on your side and pushing up with the arm nearest the ground. It was a bit wobbly at first, but once you figured it out, you were solid.
-Have two teeth! These three milestones - first teeth, crawling, and sitting up - happened all in the same week. I heard a choir of angels sing when they poked through. It took months for those suckers to break through. Luckily we've only had one biting while nursing incident...so far.
- You weren't content to sit and crawl, and moved straight to standing up. When you started standing a week after you began crawling, I knew we were in trouble. It has been simultaneously fun and terrifying to watch your standing evolve. You now pull yourself up with an aid with no trouble and are experimenting with standing without help. You'll either pull yourself up to standing with the help of an object (or mom or dad) and then let go or you get in a crouch and stand from there. I suspect the transition from standing to walking will happen as quickly as the transition from crawling to standing did. No one would be surprised if you walked by 8 months.
-Are nonstop moving. You don't even take a break to nap! Watching you requires constant vigilance. You wiggle when you're held and it's not on your terms. Restaurants are really difficult these days. You don't like being confined and the only time you'll allow it is in your carseat in the car or in a high chair to eat. Your bouncy chair has been banished to the garage and your exersaucer is only used from the outside, as an aid to stand.
- Are starting to show the beginning stages of separation anxiety. It's worst in the evenings - which, let's be honest, has never been a good time for you. If your dad or I leave the room, you start crying. You're also too smart to be distracted.
A little pre-photo shoot shot
Not quite sure about this photo shoot
Again, dad's on hand
Don't forget the fox for perspective
Scheming on her next move
which happens to be the very popular slide out
The bow actually lasted longer than we thought it would
Standing like a champ
Monday, May 13, 2013
First Mother's Day
I was dead set against celebrating Mother's Day. I decided this a few years ago; it was solidified last year when we were at the San Diego Zoo on Mother's Day. It was a warm day and the zoo is large and overrun with children. I repeatedly heard the phrase "oh great, thanks a LOT [insert child's name], your tantrum is totally ruining my Mother's Day!" Um, ladies, what do you expect? Your kid is overwhelmed, excited, off their nap schedule, and likely eating way more sugar than normal! It just seems like there is so much pressure to have this one "perfect" day a year that everyone - guest of honor, child, partner - is setting her/himself up for disappointment. So, I decided to just forgo the day (if you're curious, Mike and I also don't celebrate Valentine's Day).
I should add that I don't judge or begrudge those who do celebrate Mother's Day. I know more than ever now how much work goes into being a parent and I do think every parent should be celebrated! Similarly, I'm happy to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom. But, I decided it wasn't for me.
And then, after discussing the details of my Mother's Day aversion with a friend, I realized I should celebrate the Day - not for me, but for Lena. It occurred to me that once she's older and can grasp the concept of the Day (and make me gifts in school), it may mean a lot to her to show me how much she loves me. So, I've decided to celebrate it - but with no strings attached. No grand expectations, no big disappointments. I'm keeping the bar low.
Except for my birthday - on my birthday, bring it on.
Fittingly, Mike's job with the UC Union scheduled a meeting in Riverside for the whole weekend, so it was just me and Lena all weekend. I know it sounds corny, but for this full-time working mom, 60+ hours straight with Lena was exactly the gift I wanted. She's incredibly cute. She's getting independent and exploratory but is still cuddly when she's tired. She's smiley and has a good sense of humor. Yesterday, I was doing a HIIT interval and she thought burpees were HILARIOUS. She just sat there and cracked up as I hopped up and down. She then tried to sit on my stomach and use my legs for balance to stand while I was doing sit ups. We ended the session with her chewing on the yoga mat.
She slept in an extra hour, took a 1.5 hour nap in the morning, and then she and I took a 2.5 (!!!) hour nap in the afternoon. It was my first nap in at least four months and it was divine. I had planned to take her to the park for a picnic but was happy to substitute the excursion with a nap.
And that was that. No brunch, no breakfast in bed (though if you know me well, you know breakfast in bed is not a gift to me, it's a quick way to set my OCD in high gear), no big dinner. No disappointments! Just a sweet, happy baby, and a relaxed mom.
I should add that I don't judge or begrudge those who do celebrate Mother's Day. I know more than ever now how much work goes into being a parent and I do think every parent should be celebrated! Similarly, I'm happy to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom. But, I decided it wasn't for me.
And then, after discussing the details of my Mother's Day aversion with a friend, I realized I should celebrate the Day - not for me, but for Lena. It occurred to me that once she's older and can grasp the concept of the Day (and make me gifts in school), it may mean a lot to her to show me how much she loves me. So, I've decided to celebrate it - but with no strings attached. No grand expectations, no big disappointments. I'm keeping the bar low.
Except for my birthday - on my birthday, bring it on.
Fittingly, Mike's job with the UC Union scheduled a meeting in Riverside for the whole weekend, so it was just me and Lena all weekend. I know it sounds corny, but for this full-time working mom, 60+ hours straight with Lena was exactly the gift I wanted. She's incredibly cute. She's getting independent and exploratory but is still cuddly when she's tired. She's smiley and has a good sense of humor. Yesterday, I was doing a HIIT interval and she thought burpees were HILARIOUS. She just sat there and cracked up as I hopped up and down. She then tried to sit on my stomach and use my legs for balance to stand while I was doing sit ups. We ended the session with her chewing on the yoga mat.
She slept in an extra hour, took a 1.5 hour nap in the morning, and then she and I took a 2.5 (!!!) hour nap in the afternoon. It was my first nap in at least four months and it was divine. I had planned to take her to the park for a picnic but was happy to substitute the excursion with a nap.
And that was that. No brunch, no breakfast in bed (though if you know me well, you know breakfast in bed is not a gift to me, it's a quick way to set my OCD in high gear), no big dinner. No disappointments! Just a sweet, happy baby, and a relaxed mom.
Bedhead, two days in a row. Sunday, above, and Monday, below.
Cuddly and smiley
Cheeks!
Mornings spent cuddling before getting out of bed are our favorite
The table is a favorite thing lately. Lena's all about standing up. And the pouty face above has been a fixture this week.
No workout's complete without trying to eat the yoga mat.
Oh, you were trying to use this mat?
Sneakers aren't for running, they're for playing with shoelaces (a new favorite toy)
Nugget's sad the snearkers aren't being used to go for a run.
She recently discovered two new mobile jungle gyms (aka Puck and Nugget). They're great with her.
Outtake photo, not a good facial expression for either of them.
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