Flash Reflex

Whenever a picture is taken of me with the flash on, there are two outcomes: my eyes will be closed or I will look stoned (i.e. eyes partially closed). If it is a weak flash and there's at least 20 feet between me and the photographer, I *might* take a decent picture. This isn't just annoying, it's inconvenient at times - I had to retake my passport photo FOUR times (to the tune of $60) because my eyes weren't open enough to meet the passport qualifications. When we met with a wedding photographer, I had to be very explicit about the fact that he should not use a flash (no way would we spend that much $$$ on photographs of me looking drugged). I even asked my optometrist about the cause of this. He said the astigmatism in my left eye likely makes my eye really sensitive to light. My dreams of being a model were dashed.

Guess who inherited this?

Lena at 5 Months

Lena,
You are 5 months old! I can't believe you are almost half a year old. October seems a long ways away and you have changed so much since then. But you're almost half a year old!! That seems so old (in baby terms). At 5 months, you:

- Understand cause and effect. You've begun a "fake" crying just to get me to come over to you. How do I know it's fake? As I approach, you smile widely. The tears are real, but I don't think you're quite in the distress you're making it out to be. I'm still wrapped around your finger- I run to you most of the time - but I'm also trying to play with other ways to make you happy, like sing-singing your name, smiling widely, and doing something goofy to to help you stop crying. If it doesn't work, then I pick you up.

- Test cause and effect with your toys. You play the "what will mom or dad do if I drop this toy" game.

- Are much more aware of your environment. Sounds - talking, songs, things on the TV - easily distract you (nursing is a bit frustrating). You don't sleep as soundly anymore. When the dogs wake up and shake, the tags on their collars wake you up (we try to remember to take their collars off before bed). The blender scared you the other night- every time I turned it on, you'd start shaking and crying. I tried to show you it was okay but you wanted nothing of it, so we just cuddled.

- Interested with everything. You are constantly turning your head from side to side trying to take it all in. You like to be held facing out. If you're facing the person holding you, you're grabbing his/her face (often pinching!). I can't hold anything without you wanting it (especially my iPhone!). You'll also start to scream if you don't get what you want (i.e. the spoon I'm trying to feed you with). We're trying to nip that in the bud. I guess babies are never to young to throw tantrums.

- Are starting to eat solid foods, little by little. The limiting factor does not seem to be your ability to swallow, it's that it's such a production. You want to hold the spoon but then you hurt yourself jamming it in your mouth.  You'll hungrily open your mouth and swallow the cereal/banana/avocado mush, but then you'll grab onto the spoon like its keeping you from falling off a cliff (damn, girl! you're strong). I'll let you have that spoon and give you the next spoonful with a second spoon. Then switch.

- Are not sleeping well. The 4 month sleep regression started about a week early and hasn't quit. We're trying to transition you back to your crib. What's difficult is its just so much easier on all of us if you sleep with us! But we're trying. This is true of nap time and bedtime.

- Will be crawling soon. Last night (March 15), during playtime on the floor, you started your first official army crawl. It was only one one side, but you did move forward a couple inches. The intent is very much there. I foresee you shimmying up the mat to your toy in no time.
  
- Love playing with toys. We now have a box of toys that you rotate through. You roll all over the floor (at daycare you make circles around the room!). You have a very short attention span for toys - maybe 2 or 3 minutes each. So, we constantly refresh. You enjoy floor time more if I'm on the ground with you.

- Have developed a few dimples, on your left side of your smile. They're subtle but oh-so cute. You are generous with smiles so we seem them often.
 

Some Recent Pictures

I just downloaded photos to my computer AND Lena's asleep at the moment, so I'm going to make this quick and update you through photos.

Happily spends time on her tummy now

adorable, right?

An outtake from her 4 Month photo shoot. Everything goes in the mouth these days.

Her first taste of solid foods.  Totally messy.  She didn't actually ingest much rice cereal.  But it was exciting and she got to hold the spoon a lot.

Along with the current theme of everything in her mouth, we are also experiencing the "grab onto everything" phase.  Which often includes my hair.  Which happens to look rather nappy in this photo.

Meeting Olivia for the first time.  Olivia asked me to get a handle on my kid instead of just taking pictures.

I often get this face from her.

Something else to grab, FUN!  At least she didn't maul Olivia.

A high chair and some toys buys me 20 minutes lately to make dinner.  Our meals are by no means extravagant lately.

Lena at 4 Months

Lena,
You are now 4 months old! We took you to your 4 month check up on your 4 Month birthday and here are your stats:
Length: 25.5 inches/90th percentile
Weight: 14 lbs 13 oz/75th percentile
Head: 40.7 cm/50th percentile

I actually think your girth is pretty average (you're not really chubby) but the percentile is skewed higher because you're so long. The NP was very pleased with your growth! Now that your head is greater than 36 cm, we can get you a bike helmet and Dad can take you for rides in the bike trailer I got him for Christmas. You fit solidly in 3-6 month clothes and are even starting to outgrow some of them (you're all torso! The pants are still a bit big).

At 4 months, you:
- Are really starting to roll around. When placed on your back, you usually roll on your side. You've rolled all the way onto your tummy (and vice versa) but you don't do it often. You also love to do crunches and "boat pose" (lying on your back you lift your head and legs)
- are much more engaged with toys. Your playmat, exersaucer, and activity arch are MUCH more interesting now. You pull the pull-ups down, spin the wheels, and push buttons. To someone without an infant, this may seem trivial, but to me it's huge!
- are strong! If you do not want the bottle, you can really push it away! You are also very willful. There's no getting you to drink that bottle if you don't want it. This has been particularly trying since I returned to work. Now that we spend most of the day apart, you only want to nurse at night. Trust me, I would really Like this, except my milk production is especially low at night and not enough to feed you. Alas, you still refuse the bottle. I can only assume you drink enough during the day to sustain you.
- are not cooing as much as you used to. You've traded it for watching lips move, feeling faces, and blowing raspberries. You find it utterly hilarious when I try to speak French to you (perhaps it is my sorry attempt at an accent?). Yesterday during a conference call for work, I held you in the carrier so you wouldn't start crying and you blew raspberries throughout the entire meeting. It was actually pretty hilarious.
-Have taken a step back in sleeping in your crib. We had a couple of guests in a row so we brought you in the Pack N Play in our room. Then you got an ear infection and the only way you'd sleep is with me. We've been able to transition you back to the Rock N Play but not the crib or the Pack N Play. Baby steps.
-have big feet! You're in 6-12 month socks. Between your dad and I, you were destined for big feet.

-no longer wail every time you're hungry.  If you wake up from a nap and happened to have skipped a meal, then you'll cry.  Other than that, I know you're hungry when you start whining a bit.  

You are so much fun.  I can't believe how much I miss you during the day when I'm at work.  

Love you!

Mom

Lena at 3 Months

Lena,
You are 3 months old! You have done so much growing this month, sometimes it blows my mind that you are only three months old- I could swear you're twice that age sometimes. At 3 months, you:

-insist on holding your bottle during feedings. You haven't quite mastered tipping it up but no matter what, your hands have to be on the bottle. You'll even slip your tiny, chubby hand under mine to get a good grip. Miss Independent already.

-Are starting to blow raspberries. We both think it's hilarious.

-Are quite talkative. "Goo" seems to be your go to word still. When you get fussy, if I start talking to you, you'll forget your fuss, focus on my mouth, and start jabbering back to me. I foresee high cell phone bills in your future.

-Are starting to put yourself to sleep (only at night). We're getting a routine. Your preferred bedtime (9:30 pm) is later than most babies (7:30 pm) but the fact that you even have a bedtime makes me happy. The handful of times I've started rocking you at 7:30 to try to get you to bed early only resulted in me getting a good arm workout while you rocked - wide awake- for two hours. You know what you like. Because you fall asleep hard at 7:30, we were able to transition you from the Rock N Play cradle to your crib in two nights. Not bad!

-Starting to like a pacifier a bit more. it's usually when you're upset or overtired. We don't push it on you, but it's effective when I don't feel like being your pacifier. A few weeks ago you have me a hockey on my bicep. We got the pacifier out shortly thereafter.

- Are still so smiley. You have such charisma. I love it!

-Repeatedly remind me of the lesson that if you genuinely smile at someone grumpy, it'll be hard for them to resist smiling back. Instant good mood. I do this a lot when you're getting really hungry or frustrated. I give you a huge smile and, for at least a minute or two, you forget what was so upsetting..

-Just started daycare. Your babysitter, Savi, is crazy about you and you're already fond of her. It's a good situation. But I miss you like crazy when I'm at work.

Happy 3 Months Puddin' Pop!

Coordination

Lena's hand-eye and hand-mouth coordination have greatly improved this past month. In the beginning, she had no interest in toys. Then, she slowly moved to looking at them or watching them hang on her car seat bar. Next, she started bringing her mouth to the toy to suck or chew on it. Just this past week, she's begun bringing the object to her. If you hold out a toy (or teething ring, holy teething Batman!) she'll take it from you. This morning we were in the backseat of the car waiting for daycare to open when she reached out, grabbed the foot of the birdie, and pulled down. The birdie's on a chord that winds back up. I've done this for her hundreds of times but have never seen her do it herself. Exciting stuff for a parent!

Watching the birdie wind up

First Day at Work

My first day back to work went really well. Thankfully, Lena is working her way into having a schedule and it held true this morning, so my timing was right on. It was hard to say goodbye so I did it quickly and practically ran out of the door before I got cold feet. Little stinker wouldn't look me in the eye - she was too busy looking at daddy. The 8.5 hours at work did really drag (especially since I started at 7 am!) but I found that when I'm in work mode, I really focus on work (hallelujah!) so my "I miss my baby!" moments weren't excessive. And it was very nice to see my coworkers and go out to lunch and catch up.

In many ways, I felt like I'm living two realities- my old life, where I work full-time and don't have a baby and the other one where I'm just a mom. To be honest, this makes me feel guilty! Hopefully, as I adjust to this new lifestyle, I can mold that into one new reality.

I did take a few breaks to watch Lena videos on my iPhone though. Now that I'm on BART on my way home, I'm so emotional with excitement to see her - I'm practically crying!

Motherhood has turned me into a big 'ole softie.